Monday, December 26, 2011

Wrapping up the Year!

As the year comes to a close, I find myself reflecting on everything that has
transpired over the past 360 days. Three main things have struck a deep
chord inside of me:
1. God's timing is always right.
2. I struggle with single mom pride (not being humble enough to receive help).
3. Life is sweet and fulfilling on the narrow road.

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The boys are sporting their new pj pants santa left.

Merry Christmas!

My sister and I... friends forever.


Just a few of us posing for a Christmas picture!
Andrew, Ike, Savannah, Isaac Jr., Abi, Kata, Josh, Matthew and Anna-Maria.
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I guess I should report on my 2011 New Year's resolution in regards to dating. Drum roll please.....
I didin't go on one single date. Now don't feel sorry for me because I was spared from some potential
disasters. I did learn a few things from the online singles websites so it wasn't a total waste of time or money. I learned that I can open up to males that I trust, whether it be talking on the phone or corresponding through email. I learned that good wholesome men are nearing extinction. Lastly, I learned when the timing is right the Lord has a man in mind for me, and it will be a sacred union that will surpass my understanding.

All in a ll it's been a wonderful year. By the way, this past semester I got four A's and one A-, not bad considering I wanted to withdraw from all my classes at the beginning of the semester because of Josh's 16 day  hospitalization. I'm glad I stuck with it and the Lord helped me through. As the New Year approaches I anticipate more learning and growth to continue, thus preparing me for what the Lord has in store.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!

Sunday, December 18, 2011

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

                             Here's wishing all our friends and family a very Merry Christmas!!


                                  Thank you for all your love and support over the years.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Stripling Warriors

I've always referred to the boys' as my Stripling Warriors because I hope that they will be just as brave and strong as the ones mentioned in the Book of Mormon. "And they were all young men, and they were exceedingly valiant for courage, and also for strength and activity; but behold, this was not all- they were men who were true at all times in whatsoever thing they were entrusted" (Alma 53:20).  I hope one day when they grow up they will say we did not doubt because our mother knew it. I want to leave a legacy of faith. I don't want my boys' to remember the temporal things I gave them. I only want to be remembered by the spiritual treasures of faith I displayed throughout my life.

 Being a single parent is hard, but uniquely awesome too. As a single mother I am able to have matriarchal interviews with my children. I get to take them one by one and talk with them, hear their frustrations, give advice and just listen. Some of these interviews have been special and sacred in that the Lord has shown me through his eyes how wonderful these boys' really are. As a single mother I have been able to go on "dates" with my sons'. This has become a regular tradition over the past year. I once again have one on one time with each boy in a different setting. I rotate boys each month. This month was Jacob's turn. He chose to see Captain America, then we went out to eat Panda Express, and finally we ventured over to the dollar tree for Halloween decorations. I have come to cherish these dates, or outings if you will. I get to see who they really are away from their brothers. We get to talk and share. I believe it makes them feel special and valued. My hope as they get older, is that they will know that I am here for them and that they can talk to me. 

There have been other great blessings I've had with this unique temporary calling as a single mother. Most importantly I couldn't do any of it without the companionship of the Holy Ghost, and a loving Savior and Heavenly Father who answer my prayers and hear my pleas. I am a better mother for having to experience single parenthood. The circumstances are not ideal, and some would think unfortunate, but the Lord compensates for the losses we have experienced. He makes our family whole and complete. I am honored to be entrusted with these 5 Stripling Warriors.

                                                       Jacob and I before our outing!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

True, Real, Lasting Love

So this week, here in the beautiful land of Utah, is BYU Education Week where thousands of people from all over the world come to be edified and uplifted spiritually. The myriad of classes range from marriage and family, to finances, addiction recovery, blended families, to just plain doctrinal concepts. It's a time for reflection upon life, and learning through the Holy Ghost of how our own personal life can be more meaningful and happier. Yes, we all do this on our own from time to time, but coming to Education Week offers a unique way of learning that lights a fire that burns bright and long to make those necessary changes.

I love to listen to S. Michael Wilcox because of the "principles" he pulls out from just about every scripture story there is, in every book of scripture (Old Testament, New Testament, Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price). I love that he shares with us what we can learn from each account. For example, the story of Elijah in 1 Kings 19:1-21. Elijah is extremely discouraged about life so he goes away to hide.           S. Michael Wilcox calls this the "Sitting Under the Juniper Tree" principle. He finds a juniper tree and sits under it and asks the Lord if he can just die. He's tired of his circumstances and wants to give up. So the Lord sends an angel to nourish and strengthen him, and what does he do, he gets up and travels a long distance only to go hide in a cave. Now this is despair we have all felt in our own lives, or maybe I'm just speaking for myself. The Lord asks him, what are you doing here? You'll have to read it to find out the rest of the story, but the point here is that sometimes we linger too long in the valley of sorrow, despair, or discouragement. The Lord wants us to be happy, it's OK to GO THERE, but to linger long is not. He sends us comfort in those valleys, but sometimes we don't want to accept it...we just want to linger there. When he thinks it's been long enough he will ask of us to get up, act, do, and get out of the cave and from under the Juniper tree. Another wonderful point S. Michael Wilcox brought up was in verse 12 about the still small voice (Holy Ghost). The Lord is within whispering distance(very near) in our juniper tree, cave moments; therefore, we can hear that still small voice. OK so now you see why I love listening to him.

I learned many principles as I listened to three hours worth of his lectures, but I only wish to share what the Holy Ghost taught me on my drive home from Education Week. In the last lecture he talked a lot about his deceased wife. She recently passed away and his heart is very tender for her. He spoke of this love and bond he has with her; something I know nothing about. I have never known that kind of love that should exist between a covenant wife and husband. I started feeling a little depressed about that, especially on the drive home. I thought, wow I've lived 38 years and have never experienced that true, deep spousal love, how sad for me. Then the Holy Ghost reminded me of something very important : I have almost daily experience with a true, real, lasting love that is greater than spousal love. It is the LOVE from Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I do know of their love and it is real, it is lasting, it is sustaining, it encompasses everything. It has power to make us feel whole, special, even divine. What greater love could we ever experience...none! If we have their love we can do anything, be anything. The relationship we have with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ should be our utmost priority because then we have the potential to experience the greatest riches we can know on earth, the merging of two souls into one, that spousal love.