Confessions of a single parent!

I know, I know it's been a while. I also know it's been a while since I have confessed how hard it is being a single parent! Disregard my last post about being able to wait a few more years to remarry. I need back up... NOW! Or at least someone who will protect me from the "grenades" thrown at me daily from my teenagers. I feel like our home has been a battlefield lately and all of us are losing the battle, and leaning to the dark side. Last night when I was "throwing a fit" during my prayer to Heavenly Father, I felt so hopeless and so weary...so, so WEARY!!!!! HE must have given me extra armor through the night because when I woke up this morning I felt soooooooooooo much better. I have been very thankful in my heart all day because I feel HIS strengthening power, once again.

 I have 5 boys and 3 of them are teenagers...need I say more about how difficult this is. I have been AMAZED at the level of difficulty. No wonder people say...Grandchildren are God's gift for not killing your own children. I get it! Now rest assured...my children are not bad. They are good sons of God; however, testosterone has suddenly taken my 3 teenagers hostage and they are trying to learn how to understand all of that...puberty, hormones, boundaries, independence, etc. I could go on and on, but I don't want this post to be all doom and gloom.

I, as the parent, am learning how weak I really am without the Lord's help. I do things wrong daily, but I am doing the best I know HOW...with the circumstances I have been given. I certainly would have shrunk from this responsibility several years ago without HIS sustaining power. I just don't like when I am "left to myself", but maybe I need those times, to acknowledge more fully how much of the load HE really is carrying.

So there you have it, a confession long overdue from this single parent!

Seasons...

Tonight I had my first drive of the year up Provo Canyon. I like to go on Sunday nights in the Spring. It's nice to get away and ponder as I'm driving up the beautiful canyon. I can actually think because no one is in the car with me. I often envision what it would be like to have a significant other driving with me. It would be so nice to just talk, hold hands, and be together. For now though, I go alone which is rejuvenating to my soul. I usually contemplate how blessed I am. Tonight I also thought about how much growth and learning has taken place these past 8 years as a single parent. I wouldn't trade any of this learning for anything. I see things so differently now. I have so much more compassion for myself, my children, and others. I feel the Lord so near, almost daily. He is helping me carry this "load". It is a beautiful thing. Of course, I hope that the time is drawing nigh for this single parenthood season to end. However, if it's a few more years...I am OK with that because that just means more learning, more growth, and more of an abundance of the Holy Ghost and the Savior's Love in my life.

I also thought about the seasons changing and how wonderful it is to have seasons end...especially hard seasons of life. Praise be to God for the seasons as stated in Ecclesiastes. "A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing (I'm still in this season :-]), a time to weep, and a time to laugh;...". He sees the wisdom in all the seasons. He give and He takes, but "He hath made every thing beautiful in His time". I have a beautiful, wonderful life(not a perfect or ideal one and that's ok), and so do YOU! If you look hard enough and are patient you will see the beauty in it!

Doin' something right!

Often times we, as parents, think we can never do anything right with our kids. This is especially true as they hit the teenage years. Well, I got a nice surprise from my 15 year old. I woke up Monday morning and found this taped to the outside of my door.

Must be doing something right! :-) Our children really do care about us even if they don't always show it! We, as parents, are doing the best we can and it is ENOUGH!!!! The End!

Life!

So, lately I've been contemplating my life's mission. What is it really? Do I want my mission to be the vision I see, or others see for myself, or God's vision of myself? Since God's thoughts and ways are higher than my own (as stated in the Bible) , then I would rather know what God wants me to accomplish.      

  Living life day to day can cloud our vision of our mission here on earth. We need an anchor to keep us from drifting too far away from what we are truly to become in this life.  I was reminded that I have an anchor and a guide for what I should accomplish during this life. It's an inspired guide, a reminder of who I really am, and can become, in the eyes of God. This is a patriarchal blessing.
For further explanations of what a patriarchal blessing is, you can find out by going to lds.org or clicking on the link to the right side of my blog page.

There are so many things in this world tugging at us for attention, tossing us to and fro, that we forget our life's mission. So as I pulled out my patriarchal blessing today to get some answers, I was reminded of my life's mission. These truths are what I should be holding onto and working towards. If I follow the counsel within, I will be living a full, dedicated, successful life...in the eyes of God.
After this life, He is the one we will face and be accountable to. Follow His path, His course, in order to be prepared to meet him face to face and feel good being in His presence.

I noticed a pattern in my blessing. Some of us have heard that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has a 3- fold mission to accomplish. The mission is to Perfect the Saints, Proclaim the Gospel, and Redeem the Dead. The next time you read through your patriarchal blessing find what your 3-fold mission is. Try to see the pattern of what is being told to you. I saw a 3-fold mission in mine as I read today. My very own 3-fold mission! What is yours? We all have one. Use your guide, your anchor you've been privileged to obtain (patriarchal blessing). It will lead you along the right path in obtaining your life's mission here on earth.